Vignette Eight

Oh The Weather Outside was Frightful



She peeked out from her coffin--bright blue skies and happiness seeped in from the outside world. "Disgusting" the Littlest Vampire muttered; she couldn’t sleep, nor was she feeling well. The Littlest Vampire was so busy sniffing around for party drugs in her dinner’s bloodstream that she had completely overlooked him having the sniffles. She remembered hearing some joke that masturbation could clear the sinuses. LV looked down at her genitalia but could not understand the connection between a vagina and a nasal cavity. Hopefully the human’s disease would be out of her system by sundown.

But the Fire Inside, Delightful

The Littlest Vampire sniffed the air. Her sinuses were clear and she could breathe. She smelled something odd, something burning. LV thought it was a fireplace but quickly dismissed the idea….it was too warm for that. Normally the Littlest Vampire couldn’t give a shit about what was going on in the outside world; fires don’t kill vampires, but she was curious about her new neighbors. On the other hand, she wanted to watch Dracula 2000 on AMC and see what sort of bullshit they had to say this time about her people….her DVR wasn’t hooked up yet so it really was a tough call. LV walked thru her empty apartment, glanced at the window to make sure it was evening, and opened the front door.

Every Vote Counts

LV flew down the nearest stairwell, following her nose to the lobby. She could hear wood crackling and see smoke through the glass entrance way. Her heart skipped a beat when she saw the bonfire just blazing away in the middle of 42nd Street. Flashback…Flashback…..In the old days, the villagers would come with pitchforks and torches, ready to terrorize and destroy anyone they suspected of evil. LV had seen thousands of these “witch hunts” over the years. In those thousands, absolutely none, big fat zero type of none, ever resulted in the death of any member of the Undead. It was always some poor bastard with a health condition. Nowadays, the closest reminder to a murderous mob was a political campaign.

If You Can Make It Here, You Can Make It Anywhere

LV stood in the shadows. Right there in the middle of New York City’s most famous street (street; I said street, not thoroughfare or we’d have the argument that it was Broadway), was a raging burning BBQ surrounded by countless humans. The humans were animated, but not murderous. She was confused and scanned the crowd searching for the marshmallow but couldn’t find one. As usual, a crowd of men began to form around Littlest. She accepted this as one of the rules of gravity. She turned to one of her admirers, “Hey, what’s going on out here?”

Previous / Next
image