Vignette Two

Meanwhile…In the Bat Cave

The Littlest Vampire crawled into her coffin. She made sure to get it with the Wi-Fi; you lose internet when you close the lid so it was a crucial addition. She googled key phrases such as “compromise; understanding your mate; men are from mars”. She loved gutting and dismembering a man quickly ...but this time she wanted to be more like a real woman. And apparently, according to her online research, that meant bleeding him dry over a lifetime.

Twitter said the modern man finds this most appealing.

The more and more she read, the more and more LV sank into sad confusion. Is this really what men wanted, or what humans were about? It wasn’t that she was suffering through her most recent breakout, or that she was avoiding the task of unpacking moving boxes, this was a genuine centuries-old, science experiment to beat all other science experiments. For starters, with all the game playing and lying involved in “getting yourself a spouse-house-child support- job of your dreams,’” one could argue that the human was actually the scary monster of ye old fairy tale. All LV ever schemed for was a hot blooded meal and very thick window drapes. With her mind on food, she shut her Air Book and threw on some clothes.

Tuesday is the New Friday

What she loved about this city summed up to one very important word…Logistics. People came to New York City hoping, wishing, praying and dreaming about going missing at night. And though there were prettier places, warmer, better smelling places, bigger places, but what good would that do if 1. everyone could be accounted for and 2. nobody was around at night? That was as useful as a quadriplegic with a Shake-Weight. Winters sometime were tough to feed; nobody went out in the cold. But she would stick it out. It’s not like she could move to China…LV didn’t speak Chinese. Never get stuck in a place where you don’t know the word for sunlight. Bad. Bad idea.

Are you on the list?

It didn’t take long before the Littlest Vampire found a place to go. She looked down at her watch; 2am. She looked at the nondescript black door and line forming in front of it...long. She remembered it was a Tuesday, bingo. The Hotspot. LV simultaneously crossed the street towards this midnight buffet and switched into her human “costume”. Mimicking the female of the species, she lowered her shirt, fluffed her hair, turned her nose up and cut the entire line without hesitation of being denied. It was important to show she was better than every single one of them; if not, the bouncer would smell fear and kick your pathetic ass to the back of the line. Secretly she hated doing this because she actually was better than them and one should never make fun of the disadvantaged. Nonetheless, she charmed everyone within spitting distance. And she knew it. She had the kind of charm that could get her elected as President. The world was just lucky she had no interest in politics.

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